| "Night and day I pondered until I saw the connection [...]" ~ Martin Luther
No wonder I'm still a babe in Christ, so powerless, so faith-less, insecure, distrusting, discontent with God...
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| i can't write well because i don't know myself well...
i can't be write genuinely because i don't know myself well...
i can't write well because i'm not genuine...
i'm not genuine because i'm afraid to be genuine...
i repeat words because i lack vocabulary...
i can't write pleasantly because i don't know God...
i can't write passionately because my faith isn't real...
i don't write honestly because i'm afraid to be honest...
know thyself
know God
the truth will set you free
the Truth will set you free
God makes sense
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| my mind and my heart, my consciousness and my unconsciousness, is all one large web of lies, subtle lies, distorted, contorted truths. it's like a jungle through which i can't escape. indeed, i feel held captive but this web of lies, and even though i sometimes realize a piece of the web as a lie, i do not find myself capable of removing that lie. yeah, even if i think i removed some lie i find it suddenly rebuilt and stronger than before, or replaced by a lie that is completely foreign to me.
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| i don't pursue satisfaction in God because i don't think He can (or will) satisfy my desires.
intellectually i know this is a lie from the devil, but in the end it always ends up standing in between God and me, in one shape or another.
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